I’ve been thinking about three life lessons that shaped me this year.
This article is part of our Being Human Series — reflections on empathy, values, and how we are experienced by others at work.
Lesson 1: Pushing Your Limits Is Painful
I love reading posts by Ray Dalio, Founder of Bridgewater Associates.
From the way he describes organizations as a “machine” to his belief in the value of principles, he’s credible, articulate, and clearly cares about people.
In a recent post he quoted Carl Jung:
“Man needs difficulties. They are necessary for health.”
Yet most of us instinctively avoid pain — whether we’re working on our physical health or our mental growth.
Back in 2012, I wasn’t happy that we were still teaching and talking about CRM when the world had moved on to Customer Experience.
So after earning my own CCXP credential, I spent two years writing a new CX Management course.
That course was eventually endorsed by the CXPA and has become an important course in our global training work.
But that two-year journey was intense. I sat in our shophouse office in Singapore nearly everyday, talking to CX experts, running pilots, and tapping on existing Clients to test individual modules.
All of which involved rethinking my own mental models.
But I wouldn’t change a thing about that journey. The pain was an indicator that I was on the right track.
What will you do this upcoming year that will be hard? I think the question is important.
Lesson 2: Personality Is Not a Prison Sentence
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant uses a useful metaphor: some people feel “imprisoned” by their personality traits.
In Hidden Potential he writes:
“Personality is not a prison sentence. It’s a tendency. Character skills enable you to transcend that tendency to be true to your principles.”
I’m not an organizational psychologist, but I’ve lived this.
Over the years people have told me, “I could never do what you do. The thought of standing up in front of people stresses me out,” or “I’m too introverted for public speaking.”
When we embrace those labels as limits, we hold ourselves back.
In “5 Myths About Introverts and Extraverts at Work,” Grant addresses the misconception that introverts are inherently anxious about public speaking.
He cites research showing that while introverts may anticipate more anxiety, 84% of public-speaking anxiety is unrelated to introversion–extraversion.
General anxiety, perceptions of audience hostility, and fear of failure play bigger roles.
Personality traits are tendencies — not destinies.
How self-labelling will you rethink this year? So that you can explore new opportunities to lead a more fulfilling life?
Lesson 3: Did Something Not Work Out? Look in the Mirror
This past year it’s likely people didn’t do what you hoped. They didn’t buy in to what you were “selling.”
Sometimes economic or societal conditions get in the way of launching a business, changing the culture, or earning a promotion.
Stuff happens to everyone.
When my business went through a difficult period years ago, I remember I blamed everyone and everything.
Over time I realized I couldn’t keep pointing the finger outwards.
When I looked in the mirror, I realized that I had taken my eye off the ball. There were consequences to that.
Deepak Chopra put it plainly:
“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.”
Whether in personal relationships or business settings, I’ve learned that when things don’t work out, the first step is to look in the mirror — and interrogate my own mindset and behavior.
When I teach Contact Center operations, I tell the story of a technical support Center that set the wrong metrics for its frontline Customer Service team.
Agents in that Center did some truly “bad” things to hit those targets — actions that hurt Customers and the unit’s credibility.
In a closed-door meetinng, the leaders there asked me if they should sack the entire team and start over.
I said:
No, please don’t sack them. Go home tonight, look in the mirror, and ask what your role was in these outcomes. This behavior didn’t come from a vacuum — it came from the direction and instructions you gave.
The answer was in their hands the entire time. A bit like how Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz could have always gone home to Kansas.
They needed to give better guidance to their people.
Take Time to Pause and Reflect
To sum it up:
- What hard challenge will you intentionally embrace next year?
- Which parts of your self-talk will you reframe?
- What could you possibly make better by looking into a mirror — especially around something that didn’t seem to ‘work out’?
Thank You for Reading
I regularly share stories, strategies, and insights from our work across Contact Centers, Customer Service, and Customer Experience. If this resonates, I’d love to stay connected.
You can drop me a line anytime, or subscribe via our website.
Daniel Ord
[email protected]
www.omnitouchinternational.com
