As another year draws to a close, I reflect on three life lessons that have shaped me – both personally and professionally.
And I hope they can inspire your own reflections as we step into the New Year.
Lesson 1: Pushing your limits is painful
I love reading pots by Ray Dalio, the Founder of the Bridgewater Group.
From how he describes organizations as a ‘machine’ to his core belief in the value of principles, he’s credible, articulate and cares about people.
Here’s what Ray wrote today –
As Carl Jung put it, “Man needs difficulties. They are necessary for health.”
Yet most people instinctually avoid pain.
This is true whether we are talking about building the body (e.g., weight lifting) or the mind (e.g., frustration, mental struggle, embarrassment, shame)–and especially true when people confront the harsh reality of their own imperfections.
Back in 2012 I wasn’t happy that we were still teaching and talking about CRM when the world had moved on to Customer Experience.
So I spent two years writing a new CX Management course from scratch. It was endorsed by the CXPA and has become an important course in our overall curriculum.
But that two year journey was intense.
Writing a training course involves thinking about what people should know to succeed and then organizing that information into a cohesive and memorable whole.
And as I talked to CX people and delivered test modules, I found I had to discard some of my own mental models. Particularly mental models which had put Customer Service at the forefront of the Customer Experience.
But I wouldn’t change a thing about that journey. The pain was an indicator that I was on the right track. That I was learning and growing.
What will you do this upcoming year that will be hard? I think the question is important.
https://www.omnitouchinternational.com/the-best-380000-i-ever-spent-to-learn-and-grow/
Lesson 2: Personality is not a prison sentence
Adam Grant, the organizational psychologist and author, uses the metaphor of a “prison” to describe how individuals can feel confined by their personality traits.
In his book Hidden Potential he writes: “Personality is not a prison sentence. It’s a tendency. Character skills enable you to transcend that tendency to be true to your principles.”
I’m not an organizational psychologist. But I have my own experiences with this concept.
Over the years so many people have come up to me and said, “Oh I could never do what you do. It makes me stressed to think about standing up in front of people and talking.”
Or “I’m too introverted to do public speaking.”
But by embracing that belief about themselves they end up holding themselves back.
In his article “5 Myths About Introverts and Extraverts at Work,” Grant addresses the misconception that introverts are inherently anxious about public speaking.
He cites research indicating that while introverts may anticipate more anxiety, 84% of public speaking anxiety is unrelated to introversion-extraversion. Factors such as general anxiety levels, perceptions of audience hostility, and fear of failure play more significant roles.
I’ve always believed that personality traits are tendencies, not destinies.
My own journey – from hesitating to speak in front of groups to becoming a professional Trainer – proved to me that growth is possible when I push beyond self-imposed limits.
https://www.omnitouchinternational.com/we-all-took-a-personality-test-now-what/
Lesson 3: Did something not work out? Then look in the mirror
This year it’s likely that people didn’t do what you wanted them to do. They didn’t buy into what you were ‘selling’. Or they didn’t see things your way. Maybe they didn’t like your posts.
Or this year it could be that economic or societal conditions got in the way of launching that new business or getting the promotion you deserved.
Stuff happens to everyone.
When my business went through a difficult period many years ago, I blamed everyone and everything. But as time went by I realized I couldn’t just blame this external circumstance or that person.
II had taken my eye off the ball. And there were consequences to that.
There are a lot of quotes on the topic – but I’ll go to Deepak Chopra’s quote here –
“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.”
Whether in personal relationships or business settings, I’ve learned that when things haven’t worked out – I should look in a mirror and take accountability for my own mindset and behavior.
When I teach Contact Center operations I tell the story of how the Leadership Team for a Technical Support Center set the wrong metrics for it’s Frontline Customer Service folks.
Which resulted in the Customer Service people doing some really ‘bad’ things to achieve those metrics. Behavior which damaged Customer relationships and the credibility of the business unit.
When the Leaders at that Center asked me if they should sack the entire Team and start over here’s what I said –
“No, I think you need to go home tonight, look in a mirror and ask yourself what your role was in this set of outcomes.
Because this bad behavior in your Team did not come out of a vacuum. It came out of the direction and instructions that you gave.”
It really does take two to tango.
Take time to pause and reflect
What challenges will you embrace? Which aspects of your self-talk will you reframe?
What lessons have shaped your year, and how will they guide you moving forward?
Success in work and life starts with who we are – and I hope these lessons resonate with your journey.
https://www.omnitouchinternational.com/the-power-of-motivation-quotes/
Thank you for reading!
As my career and life have progressed I find myself becoming more philosophical. Because success at work – and in life – is not just about what you do.
It’s about who you are as a person. And the life lessons you’ve taken on board.
What lessons resonate with you this New Year’s Eve?
I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to share them with me at daniel.ord@omnitouchinternational.com or visit www.omnitouchinternational.com.
Daniel Ord
