This article is part of our Service Series — reflections and lessons on how service is designed, delivered, and experienced, from Frontline conversations to leadership choices.
“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” — William James
Let’s talk about difficult Customer situations.
The Princess & the Pea
When I teach people how to handle difficult Customers, I sometimes turn to fairy tales and the wisdom they hold.
Hans Christian Andersen’s The Princess & the Pea — the tale of a single pea hidden beneath twenty mattresses — is really a story about sensitivity.
The Queen places the pea under twenty mattresses as a test — a way to confirm that any young lady who sleeps overnight in the bed is a real Princess, and therefore fit to marry her son, the Prince.
When one young woman wakes up bruised and sleepless, the Queen declares the test a success.
After all, only a true Princess could be so sensitive.
The Customer Service Connection
In Customer Service training, people often confuse irritating Customers with difficult Customers who have actually done something wrong.
I’ll ask participants to describe how they define a difficult Customer. And specifically, I ask:
What are the behaviors that irritating Customers exhibit or bring to life?
After a few minutes of brainstorming, participants share:
“Irritating Customers keep repeating themselves over and over…”
“These Customers use lots of red font and exclamation points in their emails…”
“They’re irritating when they won’t be quiet and listen to me…”
Then I ask:
Did you fear for your safety when the Customer used red font?
Were you emotionally harmed when the Customer repeated themselves?
Did the Customer do anything wrong?
The answer is almost always: No.
And that’s when it clicks.
The Customer may have been irritating.
But being irritating isn’t the same thing as doing something wrong.
An Irritating Customer Is Not the Same as a Difficult Customer
This is where The Princess and the Pea comes in.
Irritation is personal.
What bothers me might not bother you at all.
People who eat with their mouths open get to me — and slow talkers test my patience.
But none of that is wrongdoing.
Maybe Customers repeat themselves.
Or they use lots of !!!’s.
Now and then they write in red font.
But they haven’t done anything wrong.
And just as importantly — we weren’t hired to be the Behavior Police.
Being irritated doesn’t give us the license to punish a Customer by giving them anything less than our best.
The job isn’t to judge whether a Customer deserves good service — it’s to deliver it, even when we are irritated by their behavior.
The ‘Suck It Up and Serve’ Teaching Moment
In training sessions, I sometimes put it bluntly:
We’ve got to suck it up and serve — as long as we’re not dealing with abuse. If we sit there thinking about how annoying the Customer is, those feelings will slip into the conversation.
People usually first laugh — and then nod.
Because it’s true.
A Quick Word on Abuse
Be careful not to mix up irritating behavior and abusive behavior.
They’re not the same — and each calls for a different response.
Participants often say:
“I was mixing up what abusive behavior is and what irritating behavior is… I get it now.”
Which gives me the chance to say:
“Just because we don’t like something doesn’t make it abuse.”
Fortunately, real abuse is relatively rare.
Much of what gets labeled as “abuse” in Service is irritation in disguise — not truly difficult Customer behavior.
The Takeaway
Sensitivity is part of being human.
And dealing with people who irritate you isn’t limited to professionals in Customer Service.
It’s part of being alive — surrounded by other human beings.
So the mark of Service maturity isn’t avoiding irritation when dealing with difficult Customers.
It’s choosing how we respond to it.
A simple truth that makes both Service and life a little better.
Related reading: “I Didn’t Sleep Well” Is Not a Customer Experience Strategy
Thank You for Reading
I regularly share stories, strategies, and insights from our work across Contact Centers, Customer Service, and Customer Experience. If this resonates, I’d love to stay connected.
You can drop me a line anytime, or subscribe on our site.
Daniel Ord
[email protected]
www.omnitouchinternational.com
